Annotated MOO Log of a Student-Teacher Conference
Mindy (student) and Joel (teacher)

Joel smiles.

Joel asks, "how are ya, Mindy!?"

mindy says, "good"

Joel takes a cheesey slice of pizza and take a bite, being careful not to let Mindy see any mushrooms

Joel smiles.

Joel wonders what kind of pizza James Dean ate.

mindy asks, "i don't know?"

Joel plops down in the bean bag chair and beans fly everywhere.

mindy says, "i'm not that interested in james dean"

mindy says, "just another person"

Joel says, "no. But you were certainly interested in letting the editor, and presumeably the entire readership of this magazine, what kind of place Madiosn-Grant really is. Good for you."

mindy says, "i know but it was against the school and community"

mindy asks, "why don't your sentences finish?"

Joel says, "it's good that you're letting them know how they messed up. It's good that you're clearing the school's name."

Joel asks, "uh oh. Are they getting cut off after one line?"

mindy says, "yes"

Joel says, "you probably need to do the @wrap on thing. Type this: @wrap on"

mindy says, "done"

mindy says, "thanks"

Joel says, "cool. I hope you didn't miss too much."

mindy says, "i don't think i did"

Joel says, "I was saying that you were certainly interested in letting the editor, and presumeably the entire readership of this magazine, what kind of place Madiosn-Grant really is. Good for you."

Joel says, "it's good that you're letting them know how they messed up. It's good that you're clearing the school's name."

mindy says, "it bothered me that a magazine like that would write something bad. it was my schol."

Joel asks, "yes. I bet. Tell me this, I didn't catch what magazine this was. Which one is it?"

mindy says, "my high school english class had to write something sim. to this, and others did write the magazine but got no response"

Joel says, "oh. US News and world report."

mindy says, "si"

Joel asks, "sports illustrated?"

mindy says, "no si means yes"

Joel says, "Hmm. I'm looking at the article you copied for me, the one with James Dean on the front and his tomb stone, and it has "US News and World Report, September 25, 1996" at the bottom."

Joel says, "wonder why that is."

mindy says, "the bad thing is one of the quotes, wasn't even what that person said.."

mindy says, "yes"

mindy says, "what do you mean "wonder why that is." about no response"

Joel says, "no. I'm sorry, I meant that I wondered why it says "US News and World Report" if this is an article from Sports Illustrated."

mindy says, "it's not an article from sports illustrated, is put"si" because in spanish that means "yes""

Joel says, "oh. I'm sorry. I'm such a doofuss."

mindy asks, "understand?"

Joel laughs like crazy

mindy says, "no prob"

mindy says, "lol"

Joel says, "I'm so sorry. I've been sitting here trying to figure out why it says one thing, and 'si' was 'yes'."

Joel says, "that's crazy."

Joel says, "Okay. I'm back on track, and I'm ready to stop being so dense. :}"

Joel asks, "so let me ask you this, Mindy. What are you trying to accomplish with this letter? Do you have a proposal? Or are you trying to persuade the audience to do something or believe in a certain way?"

mindy says, "i did that to my roomie also"

mindy says, "i guess, i am trying to let the editor, and audience know that the article was not all the way true. that madison-grant isn't a bad school like the article says"

Joel says, "yes. right."

Joel says, "and for this reason, it seems like you'll be arguing that they think a certain way."

Joel asks, "right?"

mindy asks, "i guess, i'm confussed?"

Joel says, "would I be fair if I said that you're not trying to get them to really *do* something, but more, you're trying to get them to believe a certain way, namely, that the way Madison-Grant was presented in the article wasn't right, and that there's another way to look at the school."

Joel asks, "was that any more clear?"

mindy says, "That's what I mean, because Madison-Grant, isn't a bad school."

mindy says, "Nor is the community of Fairmount"

Joel says, "yes. great."

mindy says, "of course, the school does have the cliques but they don't reject each other like the article says"

Joel says, "now, let me ask you this: you do a good job of making it clear what was wrong in the artilce. This is good. This is the euqivalent, I think, of explaining the problem and giving the background to the problem: it is explaining that the article was unfair, and then showing what in the article was unfair. Nice work."

mindy says, "thanks"

Joel asks, "so, do you intend to tell how the school really is? That is, would it be wise for you now to tell the editor (and the readers) how the town and school really is, and how that differs from the original article's interpritation?"

mindy says, "I was thinking about it, but i didn't know if i should."

mindy says, "where would be a good place to put it in"

mindy asks, "where would be a good place to put it in?Maybe in the 4th paragraph?"

Joel says, "hmm. Well, it seems to me that you've only done half your job if you simply tell them that the article was wront. It seems to me that the audience would then say, "okay then, what *is* that town like?" And you would then want to explain how the situation really is."

mindy exclaims, "Got it!"

mindy says, "I know because at the end of the paper, i said "not covered in the article""

Joel asks, "sounds to me like right where you left off is where you'd want to pick up. Your last line is, "M-G has a lot of good points that weren't covered in the article." Doesn't it seem like the perfect time to go into some of those points, and show specifically how unfair the article was that didn't cover those points?"

mindy asks, "so after the last paragraph start talking about the M-G and Fairmount?"

Joel says, "I would think that would be an appropriate and wise thing for you to do."

Joel asks, "you think that sounds reasonable?"

mindy asks, "I was thinking that maybe, something should follow my last sentence because people would be like "what wasn't covered?"

mindy says, "sounds reasonable to me"

Joel nods in agreement

Joel says, "now, let me point out something that is quite interesting to me about your paper, Mindy."

mindy says, "okay"

Joel says, "most of the other papers are designed to get someone to do something...to act on a proposal. Yours isn't quite that way; instead, it is a persuasive letter that tries to clear up misunderstanings about your home town and school. good."

mindy asks, "but?"

Joel says, "for this reason, though, it almost doesn't seem like your "argument" section will be quite arguing for the validity of your proposal. Instead, it seems like your argument section will simply be the section that you're about to write--the section that explains how your school and Fairmount really is."

Joel asks, "you know what I mean?"

mindy says, "Sorry, I don't think so."

mindy says, ""so, do you mean, it is or isn't okay for me to argue for my school and community"

mindy says, "Because really, that is what is the problem, to me"

Joel says, "okay. Here's what I mean: most people, in their argument section, are writing syllogisms, a structure for formal argument, and they are doing different things to prove why their proposal is a legitimate proposal for their audience to adopt. But in yours, it seems like your argument section will be you telling how your home town really is. Instead of saying, "Here are five reasons you should believe that the existing article was wrong," you'll be saying, "Here the place is really a good place to be.""

Joel says, "I really don't know if I'm making myself clear. But my point is, the way you're writing your paper is refreshing and appropriate. You've done a great job, I think, of taking this assignment and using it to accomplish an important task--setting the record strait on Fairmount,."

Joel applauds mindy

mindy says, "okay, so i'm on the right track"

Joel says, "yes. That was a very long, long way of saying, "you're on the right track.""

mindy says, "thanks for the applauds"

Joel says, "I'm sorry about my long-windedness."

Joel:)

mindy says, "no problem, it got my attention"

mindy says, "sorry about that little New mail that came up"

Joel asks, "I would suggest, however, that you think about a refutation section. for example, can you think of any reason that either the editor or the readers of this magazine might not believe you about what you're saying?"

mindy says, "No"

Joel asks, "If your proposal is that they consider and believe your new way of looking at Fairmount, is there a reason they might *not*?"

Joel says, "there are some reasons I can think of."

mindy says, "can you help me out a little, please"

mindy says, "I just can't think that well today"

Joel says, "If I were at that magazine or was a reader of the magazine, I might say this about you: "Come on. Betsy Wagner is an experienced journalist. She knows how to get information, and she always writes the truth." Here's another thing they might say: "Mindy Pierce? She's so tied up and connected with her hometown, how can she possibly give an objective opinion about it?""

Joel says, "these are the kinds of things, Mindy, that you might want to attack in your refutation."

Joel asks, "know what I mean?"

mindy says, "Okay, I can be open minded about this and put in that yes Fairmount does have some negatives or bad things like most towns"

mindy says, "Like yes, there are drugs and drinking of beer,but not everybody does that"

mindy says, "and yes, crime and does happen fairmount isn't the perfect little town."

Joel says, "good idea. But even in your refutation section (near the end of the paper probably), you might want to write something like this: I know it might be tempting to think that I am too wrapped up in my own community to see it with objective eyes. Some could argue that, since I love my home town, many of the things in your article pass me by and I don't see it. But I want you to know that, after talking to many people both inside and outside of our community, we have agreed that your article truly does not do justice to Fairmount, and we believe that you were the one who was not seeing clearly when visiting our town."

Joel says, "sorry about the long message."

Joel asks, "but do you see what I mean? See how that refutation can clear up any opposing views?"

mindy says, "I understand now, thanks"

Joel says, "that's the refutation. And i would make sure you include a couple paragraphs of that kind of thing, thinking about any opposing arguments your audience might have so you can clear those up."

Joel says, "sounds like you're on the right track with this paper, Mindy."

Joel asks, "you have any other concerns or questions for me?"

mindy says, "so then, write so the readers/editor won't have a reason to doubt me"

mindy exclaims, "Nope, i think that is it!"

Joel says, "yes. Exactly! That's exactly what the refutation is: it's your attempts to take away the readers's and editor's opposing arguments and doubts."

mindy exclaims, "Got it!"

Joel asks, "Mindy, let me tell you this: I'll be running this log off late tonight. Would there be a chance you could come by my office tomorrow morning after 9 and pick it up so you can read through it and write on it as you revise?"

mindy says, "Yes"

mindy says, "my final gets over at 9:30"

Joel asks, "okay. great. I'll be in my office all day tomorrow. so stop by any time and I'll hand ya the log. sound good?"

mindy says, "sounds good"

Joel says, "great."

mindy asks, "done?"

Joel says, "good job, Mindy. I think this paper is gonna be quite solid. Nice work, and I'm looking forward to seeing the next draft."

Joel smiles.

Joel says, "see ya tomorrow."

mindy exclaims, "thanks bye!"

Joel waves.

mindy says, "tomorrow"

mindy has disconnected.

The housekeeper arrives to remove mindy.